The First Night In The Grave
Prepared by JIMAS 

Abu Hurairah (radhiAllaahu 'anhu) narrated that the messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said: When the soul of a believer comes out [of its body], two angels receive it and rise with it towards the heavens, whereupon the inhabitants of the heavens say, "A good soul has come from the earth. Allaah has blessed you and the body which you used to occupy." [Muslim]



The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "The souls of the Believers are inside green birds in the trees of Paradise until Allaah returns them to their bodies on the Day of Resurrection." [Saheeh: At-Tabraanee in 'al kabeer' from Ka'b ibn Maalik & Umm Mubashshir.]

The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "Seek Allaah's protection from the Punishment of the Grave, since punishment of the Grave is a fact/true." [Saheeh: At-Tabraanee in 'al-Kabeer' from Umm Khaalid bint Khaalid ibn Sa'eed ibn al-'Aas.]

The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "Everyone who dies - then his actions are sealed except for the one guarding the border in the way of Allaah - his actions continue to increase for him until the Day of Resurrection and he is saved from the trials of the Grave." [Saheeh: Abu Dawud, at-Tirmidhee, al-Haakim: from Fadaalah ibn 'Ubaid & Ahmad from 'Uqbah ibn 'Aamir.]

The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "Verily the grave is the first stopping place for the Hereafter; so if he is saved therein, then what comes after is easier than it. And if he is not saved therefrom, then that which comes after is harder." [Hasan: At-Tirmidhee, Ibn Maajah, al-Haakim: from 'Uthmaan.]

The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "When the dead person is buried two black-blue angels come to him, one called al-Munkar and the other called an-Nakeer, and they say to him: 'What had you used to say about this man?' So he says what he used to say: 'Allaah's slave and His Messenger, I bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped except Allaah and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.' So they say: 'Verily we knew that you (would) say that.' Then his grave is widened for him to the extent of seventy cubits by seventy, then it is made light for him, then it is said: ' Sleep.' So he says: 'I should go to my family and inform them.' So they say: 'Sleep as the newly married sleeps whom no-one awakes except his favourite wife.' Until Allaah raises him up from that place of sleep. And if he is a hypocrite (munaafiq), he says: 'I heard the people saying something so I said it too, I don't know.' So they say: 'We knew that you (would) say that.' So it is said to the earth: 'Crush him', so he is crushed until his cross over and he remains in the state of torture until Allaah raises him up from that resting place." [Hasan: At-Tirmidhee from Abu Hurairah.]

The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "When a human being is laid in his grave and his companions return and he even hears their footsteps, two angels come to him and make him sit and ask him: What did you used to say about this man, Muhammad? He will say: I testify that he is Allaah's slave and His Apostle. Then it will be said to him, 'Look at your place in the Hell-Fire. Allaah has changed for you a place in Paradise instead of it.' The Prophet (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) added, "The dead person will see both his places. But a non-believer or a hypocrite will say to the angels, 'I do not know, but I used to say what the people used to say! It will be said to him, 'neither did you know nor did you take the guidance (by reciting the Qur'aan).' Then he will be hit with an iron hammer between his ears, and he will cry and that cry will be heard by whatever approaches him except human beings and jinns." [Saheeh: Al-Bukhaaree (2/422), Muslim, Ahmad, Abu Daud, an-Nasaa.ee: from Anas.]

Al-Baraa b. 'Azib said: We went out with the Prophet of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) accompanying the bier of a man of the Ansar. When he reached his grave, it was not yet dug. So the Prophet of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) sat down and we also sat down around him as if birds were over our heads. He had in his hand a stick by which he was scratching the ground. He then raised his head and said: Seek refuge in Allaah from the punishment of the grave. He said it twice or thrice. The version of Jarir adds here: He hears the beat of their sandals when they go back, and at that moment he asked: O so and so! Who is your Lord, what is your religion, and who is your Prophet? Hannad's version has: Two angels will come to him, make him sit up, and ask him: Who is your Lord? He will reply: My Lord is Allaah. They will ask him: What is your religion? He will reply: My religion is Islaam. They will ask him: What is your opinion about the man who was sent on a mission among you? He will reply: He is the Apostle of Allaah. They will ask: Who made you aware of this? He will reply: I read Allaah's Book, believed in it, and considered it true, which is verified by Allaah's word: "Allaah establishes those who believe with the word that stands firm in this world and the next." The agreed version goes: Then a crier will call from the heaven: My servant has spoken the truth, so spread a bed for him from Paradise, clothe him in Paradise, and open a door for him into Paradise. So some of its air and perfume will come to him, and a space will be made for him as far as the eye can see. He also mentioned the death of the infidel, saying: His spirit will be restored to his body, two angels will come to him, make him sit up and ask him: Who is your Lord? He will reply: Alas, alas! I do not know. They will ask him: What is your religion? He will reply: Alas, alas! I do not know. They will ask: Who is this man who was sent on a mission among you? He will reply: Alas, alas! I do not know. Then a crier will call from the heaven: He has lied, so spread a bed for him from Hell, clothe him from Hell and open for him a door into Hell. Then some of its heat and pestilential wind will come to him, and his grave will become restricted, so his ribs will be pressed together. Jarir's version adds: One who is blind and dumb will then be placed in charge of him, having a sledge hammer such that if a mountain were struck with it, it would become dust. He will give him a blow with it which will be heard by everything between the east and the west except by men and jinn, and he will become dust. Then his spirit will be restored to him. [Saheeh: Ahmad, Abu Dawud (3/4735) Ibn Khuzaimah, al-Haakim, al-Baihaqee in 'Shu'ab ul-Imaan', ad-Diyaa: from al-Baraa.]

The Messenger of Allaah (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said, "...the righteous man sits in his grave and is not alarmed or afraid, then it is said to him (by angels): 'In (what state) were you?' So he says: 'In the (state of) Islaam.' So it is said to him: 'What is this man?' So he says: 'Muhammad the Messenger of Allaah who came to us with clear signs from Allaah, so we believed that.' Then it is said to him: 'Have you seen Allaah?' So he says: 'It does not behove any man that he sees Allaah.' So an opening is made for him in the direction of the Fire, so he sees it, some parts of it smashing into others, and it is said to him: 'Look at what Allaah, the Exalted, has saved you from.' Then an opening is made for him in the direction of Paradise, and he looks to its brilliance and what is therein and it is said to him: 'This is your place.' And it is said to him: 'You were upon certain Faith and died upon it and upon it you will be raised up, if Allaah wills.' And the wicked man sits in his grave alarmed and terrified and so it is said to him: 'In what state were you?' So he says: 'I do not know.' So it is said to him: 'Who is this man?' So he says: 'I heard the people saying something so I said it!' So an opening is made for him in the direction of Paradise and he sees its brilliance and what is therein, and it is said to him: 'Look at what Allaah has refused you.' Then an opening is made for him in the direction of the Fire, so he sees it crashing against itself and it is said: 'This is your place, you lived upon doubt and died upon it and you will be raised up upon it, if it is Allaah's will." [Saheeh: Ibn Maajah from Abu Hurairah.]

The torment in the grave will vary according to the sins committed by the person in this world, whether he was a kaafir or a disobedient Muslim. There are saheeh ahaadeeth which describe this torment for the people who commit these sins.

Spirit Orbs                                         

Spirit orbs or soul forms are found in many pictures we take and most of us don't 'see' them or realize that they are there. They are the circular balls of light that are sometimes opaque in color but not always. They come in many different colors and sizes. Some are so small that they are difficult to see, where others are really large.
If you are interested in trying to take a picture of a spirit orb, or a visiting spirit in your home, the best way to do this is to first ask permission from them. Ask them respectfully if they would allow you to take their picture. Most will comply with your request as they are quite happy to have their picture taken, although not all. There are exceptions to the rules, but if you ask in a polite manner one will show themselves in the picture for you. The best practice is to point the camera in the direction you wish to take the picture, but don't look through the view finder and you may see the spirit with the naked eye if you are fortunate.
There is a consensus that the different colored orbs means different things. Here are some of the 'meanings or descriptions' of the different orb colors.


White is an Angelic Being. High frequency, protection and shielding.
Red means stress or restlessness.
Clear Red means high energy.
Deep Red could mean the person/spirit passed in a violent manner, anger.
Peach means the ability to comfort.
Orange means healing energy.
Gold means free flowing energy and tolerance.
Yellow means caution.
Yellow green mean psychic growth.
Green means healing, fertility.
Turquoise means amusement, neutrality.
Light Blue means tranquility.
Pilot Light Blue means shielding.
Dark Blue means shielding, shyness, survivor instinct.
Lavender means at peace with God.
Purple means stored information.
Violet means seeking spiritual.
Silver means telekinetic power.
Brown means a connection to the earth.

Karma and Reincarnation


Karma and reincarnation are closely related in many belief systems. Karma is the universal discipline or law, of cause and effect. Reincarnation is the rebirth of our souls to learn, grow and release any accumulated negative karma. As the saying goes, 'as you sow, so shall you reap'. This means: if we perform kind and positive acts toward others with no thought of renumeration of any kind, that produces good or positive karma. If we perform cruel or hateful acts or deeds toward another, (with the intent to hurt or cause them harm), that in turn produces bad or negative karma. Intent is the key. If you unintentionally hurt someone/something this will still have karmic effects on your soul, but it will be noted that the act was unintentional. The karmic debt wont be as severe as it would be, when the intent was to purely hurt or harm. Karma applies toward deeds committed against both humans and animals.
Throughout our lifetimes we accumulate karma. It depends upon our actions in that given life whether it is positive or negative karma. In any lifetime, if we have accumulated negative karma, we will have the option to 'work it off' in our next incarnation. This cycle repeats until we have removed the negative karma from our souls.


Once our physical bodies die, our souls are released and return Home to Heaven. We have a 'cooling off' period, where our soul adjusts to the death of the physical body. When we have adjusted, we are taken to a viewing room where we have a review of the life which we have just had. We see our actions both positive and negative here. We also view our life from the perspective of everyone we have interacted with in both positive and negative actions, and, how it effected them. Once this review has ended, we are taken to a counselor who helps us deal with what we have witnessed in the review. We then spend time in spirit, working on our souls and doing things for the Highest and Best good of our own souls, and, for the aid other souls in spirit. We are given jobs which aid in our souls growth. No one is exempt from working, we all have jobs to do. 


When we have spent a period of time in spirit, we are given a choice. We can return to earth and work off any karmic debts we have accumulated, or stay in spirit a while longer. The quickest way to work off karmic debts is to reincarnate, although some do decide to stay for longer. There is no pressure on us to reincarnate, however we eventually do return to earth. Although it is good for the soul to release any karma here on earth, as it has the benefit of incurring positive karma, we can work our karma off in spirit too. This takes a longer time than if we reincarnate. The 'down side' to reincarnation is we can also incur more negative karma too.
If we decide to reincarnate we are charged with writing out a life plan. Once again counselors help us in the writing and planning of our life plans. The purpose of the life plan is to have the lessons we need to release our karma, and to allow our souls to grow.


It takes several months to write and organize our life plans as there are many factors to take into account. We need to decide which family we are to be born into, and they need to agree (this is decided between ourselves and members of our soul family, and friends in spirit). We also need to decide which religion and country we are to be born into. The planning is very meticulous, we decide what lessons would be beneficial to us in order to learn our lessons and release karmic debt. We are in control of the planning of our life plans, although if someone disagrees with our choice of partner for example, another has to be sought. It is also overseen by and needs the approval of God before we reincarnate.
When all of the details are in place, our parents have incarnated and we are ready to be born, we review our life plans to make sure that we are still have the same goals and lessons to learn, that we had when it was written. If things have changed in any small way, ie: the spirit who agreed to the partnership changes his/her mind our 'second' choice will be asked if they will incarnate with us. Once everything is in place, we are then reincarnated into the family that we chose, and the karmic and reincarnation cycle begins once more.



Free will plays just as big a role in spirit as it does here on earth. If we live our lives in peace and always try to do our best for both others and ourselves, karma can be released and we can ascend to the beings we are in truth. Once we are those beings, there is no need to reincarnate as we have no karmic debts whatsoever.

I have not turned my back on you 

I have not turned my back on you
So there is no need to cry.
I'm watching you from Heaven,
Just beyond the morning sky.

I've Seen you almost fall apart
When you could barely stand.
I asked the Lord to comfort you
And watched him take your hand.

He told me you are in more pain
than I could ever be. He wiped
his eyes and swallowed hard
Then gave your hand to me.

Although you may not feel my
touch, Or see me by your side.
I've whispered that I love you
While I wiped each tear you cried.

So please try not to ache for me
We'll meet again one day
Beyond the dark and stormy cloud
A RAINBOW lights the way... 






Daddy went to heaven
 
DADDY WENT TO HEAVEN
TO HEAR THE ANGELS SING
DADDY WENT TO HEAVEN
ON TIPS OF ANGEL WINGS
 
DADDY SAYS "I LOVE YOU"
AND SMILES DOWN AT ME
FOR I CAN HEAR HIS WHISPERS
IN THE TIDES OF ROLLING SEA
 
DADDY PUTS ON SHOWS FOR ME
HIS PUPPETS ARE THE STARS
AND I CAN HEAR HIS LAUGHTER
IN THE HUM OF DISTANT CARS
 
DADDY PLAYS ME SONGS AT NIGHT
I HEAR THEM ON THE WIND
I LAY AWAKE JUST LISTENING
UNTIL THE STARS GROW DIM
 
DADDY WATCHES OVER ME
HE KEEPS ME SAFE AND SOUND
AND EVEN WHEN I'M ALL ALONE
I KNOW THAT HE'S AROUND ... 






My Guest

You are a guest in my thoughts.
Once a day and sometimes more,
You knock upon my daydream door,
And I say warmly,"Come right on in!
I'm glad you're here with me again!"
Then we sit down and have a chat,
Recalling this,discussing that, 

Until some task that I must do
Forces me away from you---
Reluctantly I say good-bye,
Smiling with a little sigh,
For though my daydreams bring you near
I wish that you were really here---
but what reality can not change
my dreams and wishes can arrange---
And through my wishing you are brought
To me each day--a guest in thought. 






My One True love

All of my life, I’ve dreamed of someone like you to shower
with all my love,
Then one day, out of the blue, you stumbled into my life
like a gift from above.
When I looked into your eyes, I saw gentleness, kindness, understanding
and a lifetime of heaven with you.
Though, now we spend our days apart, I always carry you
in a special corner of my heart.
No one has ever touched me in the ways that you have,
you’ve touched my very soul.
So my darling, I gave you what I prized the very most--
I gave you my heart, and the rest of my life to hold...
But you see, the rest of our earthly lives wasn’t to be
all that long,
But as you watch and wait from above,
no matter where my life goes, know only this...
YOU ARE MY ONE TRUE LOVE!





In Memory of Abdo Abdelhadi 

He was my love, my friend, my husband,
And always my Hero.
My one wish is;
My last breath on earth
Be my first in Heaven
And the first words I hear are
"Hello Nagat , Welcome Home"






Our Dad


Our Dad's In A Better Place Right Now
Then He's Ever Been Before,
All Pain Is Gone, He's At Rest
Nothing Troubles Him Anymore,
Its We Who Feel The Burden Of
Our Sadness & Our Grief,
We Have To Cry,To Mourn Our Loss
Before We Get Relief.
We Know We'll Reconnect With Him
At The End Of Each Life's Road,
We'll See Our Dad's Cherished Face Again
When We Release Our Earthly Load.





Once upon a Dream 

Once Upon a Dream
From "Sleeping Beauty"
Written by: Sammy Fain and Jack Lawrence
Performed by: Mary Costa [Aurora] 

I know you
I walked with you once upon a dream.

I know you
The gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

Yes, I know it's true
that visions are seldom all they seem

But if I know you, I know what you'll do
You'll love me at once
the way you did once upon a dream.





Time

Time is a valuable thing,
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings.
With each tick another memory is added,
With each hour another is lost.
To keep them from slipping away,
You must preserve them in a special way.
And everything you know and love will
Eventually be a memory in time.




GoodBye

 I wanted you for life
You and me
In the wind
I never thought there come a time
That our story would end
It's hard to understand
But I guess I'll have to try
It's not easy
To say goodbye.

For all the joy we shared
All that time we had to spend
Now if I had one wish
I'd want forever back again
To look into your eyes
And hold you when you cry
It's not easy
To say goodbye

I can remember all those great times we had
There were so many memories, some good some bad
Yes and through it all
Those memories will last
Forever

There's peace in where you are
May be all I need to know
And if I listen to my heart
I'll hear your laughter once more
And so I got to say
I'm just glad you came my way
It's not easy to say
Goodbye

Goodbye



The Seat

I never cried so many tears till I saw you lying there
Tonight you will spend it in Heaven above
The smile on your face shows the peace in your heart
Won’t you please save me a seat beside you?

I don’t care if the seat is old or it’s new
Some slats on the back may be missing 1 or 2
The legs may wobble, the seat may be warped
I don’t care as long as I’m next to you

We knew the day would come to say our goodbyes
But, I did not think it would be so soon
The family, they help me when I feel so down
But Abdo , they can’t hold me like you do

I prayed to go, to ease the hurt and pain
But the answer I got was, Ok someday
Until the day comes to go beyond the blue
Will you please save me a seat next to you? 

 



You are in my prayers

I feel a warmth around me
like your presence is so near,
And I close my eyes to visualize
your face when you were here,
I endure the times we spent together
and they are locked inside my heart,
For as long as I have those memories
we will never be apart,
Although we cannot speak anymore
my voice is always there,
Because every night before I sleep
I have you in my prayers. 





To My Daddy 

I know you are a million miles away in Heaven,
but yet your spirit is with me always...
Your body may have died but yet,
your soul was set free of pains & worries...

So many memories make me think of you,
I will keep them in my heart forever...

I wish that I could hold you in my arms,
but I feel you around me all the time...
I know you are in Heaven with God,
family and friends.

I feel good inside knowing you're not alone...
I know one day I will see you...
but until then, I will see you in my dreams...
I love you now and forever....



What Happened

Daddy...so many images come to mind
whenever I speak your name;
It seems without you in my life
things have never been the same.

What happened to all those lazy days
when I was just a child;
When my life was consumed in you
in your love, and in your smile.

What happened to all those times
when I always looked to you;
No matter what happened in my life
you could make my gray skies turn blue.

Daddy, some days I hear your voice
and turn to see your face;
Yet in my turning... it seems
the sound has been erased.

Daddy, who will I turn to for answers
when life does not make sense;
Who will be there to hold me close
when the pieces just don't fit.

Oh, Daddy, if I could turn back time
and once more hear your voice;
I'd tell you that out of all the dads
you would still be my choice.

Please always know I love you
and no one can take your place;
Years may come and go
but your memory will never be erased.

Today, God, as you are listening
in your home above;
Would you go and find my Daddy
and give him all my love.




Here in Heaven

ADAM & ZACH , I KNOW YOU MISS ME,
AND THAT YOU LOVE ME SO.
BUT IM SO HAPPY HERE IN HEAVEN,
MORE THAN YOU COULD EVER KNOW.

THE BIRDS THEY SING THE SWEETEST SONG,
THE FLOWERS BLOOM SO BRIGHT.
ITS SO BEAUTIFUL HERE IN HEAVEN,
PLEASE ADAM & ZACH, KNOW THAT IM ALRIGHT.

I HAVEN'T GONE FOREVER,
NOR AM I FAR AWAY!
FOR HEAVEN IS LIKE A WINDOWED ROOM,
WHERE I CAN WATCH AND HEAR ALL YOU SAY.

PLEASE ADAM & ZACH DON'T MISS ME SO MUCH,
FOR I AM CLOSE TO YOU.
I KNOW YOU SEND ME HUGS AND KISSES,
BUT I ALSO SEND THEM TOO!

WHEN THE WIND BLOWS LEAVES FROM THE TREES,
THAT BRUSH AGAINST YOUR FACE.
THAT IS A GENTLE KISS FROM ME,
CAN YOU FEEL MY WARM EMBRACE?

AND WHEN YOU SEE A CRESCENT MOON SO BRIGHT,
ITS MY SMILE LIGHTING THE NIGHT SKY. 
ADAM & ZACH LOOK CLOSELY AT THE SHOOTING STARS,
IM AN ANGEL HERE IN HEAVEN, CAN YOU SEE ME FLY? 





I Am With You

When you wonder the meaning of life and love
Know that I am with you.
Close your eyes and feel me kissing you
in the gentle breeze across your cheek.

When you begin to doubt
that you shall ever see me again
Quiet your mind and hear me.
I am in the whisper of the heavens
speaking of your love.

When you lose your identity
When you question who you are
and where you are going
Open your heart and see me.
I am the twinkle in the stars
smiling down on you,
Lighting the path of your journey.

When you awaken each morning
not remembering your dreams
but feeling content and serene
Know that I was with you -
filling your night with thoughts of me.

When you linger in the remnant pain
wholeness sseeming so unfamiliar
Think of me and Know that I am with you
Touching you through the shared tears
of a gentle friend. Easing the pain.

As the sunrise illuminates the sky
in the breathtaking glory
awaken your spirit
Think of our time, all too brief but ever brilliant
when you were certain of us, together
When you were certain of your destiny
Know that God created that moment in time
Just for us 







Operator Please

Operator please give me the
number I can call,
I have to tell my daddy that I can
catch a ball...
I know mommy misses him and has a broken heart,
Can I find his number here in the yellow pages ?
Maybe if I call him he can come on home to us,

The day he went to heaven I was crying...
He's been gone forever,
I need him home right now,
I need to call him but
I can't remember how...

Operator, is he listed in that book by the door ?
Oh operator, I didn't mean to make you cry,
I just can't remember, Why
My daddy had to die...

He's been gone a little over a year now
living up above and when the stars twinkle
I know it's my daddy sending his love...

Operator I know my daddy hears me,
when I pray, and I know he would thank you
for the help you have given me, today 







IN LOVING MEMORY OF ABDO

As I sit here alone, I close my eyes and I can see your handsome face,

And it brings me back in time, to a beautiful place.

When I could see your fantastic smile and I could hear your laughter,

I always thought it would be..." Happily Ever After ".

For you were my Egyptian Prince, from a far away land,

God brought us together as part of his plan.

He gave us two beautiful boys, named Zachary and Adam,

And a little girl who is inside of me now...her name will be " Yasmine ".

She's the little princess you had been waiting for,

But death came knocking upon your door.

You had no choice...you had to leave,

And now your little princess... you will never see.


You will never hold her and sing her to sleep,

But she'll know that you loved her, this promise I'll keep.

She will be here in January, on a cold wintery day,

And the warmth of your spirit, will help light our way.

At night I hear li'l Zachary saying " Daddy, good night ",

And then I'll hear Adam say... " Don't let the bed bugs bite ".

They miss you so much, I can see the pain on their face,

But I remind them of all the good times they had with you,

And the pain is replaced...with lots of love and happiness

Of their Daddy so dear,

God, how we all wish that you were still here.


I'll take care of your little ones, while you are sleeping,

Don't worry about them, they are in safe keeping.

Sleep now my husband, sleep in peace...you needed a rest,

You did everything good in your life...you passed the test.

So now I'll close my eyes and I'll say a prayer,

In hopes that one day we'll be a family again, ...in another time,

in another place,...far...far...away from here.







Poem for a Parting

I am looking at you
So that I will remember your face
When you are gone.

I am listening to you
So that I will remember your voice
When you are gone.

I am being aware of you
So that I will remember how you feel
When you are gone.

I am busy saving you all up in my mind
Because I am afraid I might forget your face
If you are gone too long. 






~~ Words Left Unsaid ~~

I didn't get to say " goodbye ",
and all the words I wanted you to hear.
I should have said them when I had my chance,
But I thought that you would always be near.

I ran out of time to let you know,
Just how much you meant to me.
I should have told you, but I thought you knew,
But now I will never know, if you really did see.

When I talk to you in my prayers at night,
I hope you can hear all I have to say.
I would have told you, If only I could,
Have you back for one more day.

Perhaps, there were words you wanted to say also,
That were left unsaid by you.
but I do know that you loved me
As you know that I loved you too.

We should always say what we feel in our hearts,
As tomorrow may never come.
Speak the words today, as you feel them,
And never lose your chance to tell someone.






BUTTERFLIES

In cultures all over the world,
butterflies are thought to represent souls.

The Aztecs believed
that souls of brave warriors and
relatives visited the living
in the form of
butterflies.

In Irish folklore,
the butterfly represents
a person's soul.

Its light and airy wings allows the soul
to cross into the Otherworld.

During medieval times,
paintings and sculptures of
angels showed
butterfly-shaped wings.






The Dragonfly

Once, in a little pond, in the muddy water under the lily pads,
there lived a little water beetle in a community of water
beetles. They lived a simple and comfortable life in the pond
with few disturbances and interruptions.

Once in a while, sadness would come to the community when one of
their fellow beetles would climb the stem of a lily pad and
would never be seen again. They knew when this happened; their
friend was dead, gone forever.

Then, one day, one little water beetle felt an irresistible urge
to climb up that stem. However, he was determined that he would
not leave forever. He would come back and tell his friends what
he had found at the top.

When he reached the top and climbed out of the water onto the
surface of the lily pad, he was so tired, and the sun felt so
warm, that he decided he must take a nap. As he slept, his body
changed and when he woke up, he had turned into a beautiful
blue-tailed dragonfly with broad wings and a slender body
designed for flying.

So, fly he did! And, as he soared he saw the beauty of a whole
new world and a far superior way of life to what he had never
known existed.


Then he remembered his beetle friends and how they were thinking
by now he was dead. He wanted to go back to tell them, and
explain to them that he was now more alive than he had ever been
before. His life had been fulfilled rather than ended.

But, his new body would not go down into the water. He could
not get back to tell his friends the good news. Then he
understood that their time would come, when they, too, would
know what he now knew. So, he raised his wings and flew off
into his joyous new life!


~Author Unknown~ 






Heartbroken


My heart has been broken,

My life has been changed,

Living without you

just isn't the same.


I don't know how to live,

for you were my life,

Being in this world without you

just isn't right.


The day you left me, my heart broke in two,

a part of my soul went to heaven,

to be with you.


Time can't heal the pain,

the tears will never stop,

I'll never be the same

until your back in my arms, where we never will part.


I'll always love you, Abdo







A Place To Rest 

God looked down on your body,
So tired from hanging on,
From a life that was overwhelming you,
And wanted back His son.
So he took away the air you breathe,
And gave you what was best,
A place to be at peace,
A final place to rest. 





Angel Wing's

At the end of the day when I'm weary
After a waterfall of tears have all been cried
And I'm feeling like the skies will always be dreary
Nothing's there to fill the emptiness inside.
I lay my head upon my favorite pillow
Just close my eyes to block all the sorrow
wonderin' where I'll ever find the strength inside-
to do it all again-tomorrow.
And then I feel it-
inside me.
I feel it-
around me.
Like a gentle hand just wiped away the tears-
and held me close to wash away my fears.
It's you,My Angel,watching over me.
And I know no matter what tomorrow brings,
You'll be here to wrap me in Your Angel wings-
Your lovin' Angel wings.
The Sun comes up,it's time to face the day
and I think that things are going to be all right-
But as the day wears on my nerves begin to fray-
I feel the hollowness that creeps in every night.
And like clockwork all the tears begin to fall
As I look at my tears begin to fall
As I look at my reflection in the glass-
the eyes looking back at me make me feel small-
and I ask God,how long's this going to last?
And then I feel it-
inside me.
I feel it-
around me.
Like a gentle hand just wiped away the tears-
and held me close to wash away my fears.
It's You,My Angel watching over me.
And I know no matter what tomorrow brings,
You'll be here to wrap me in Your Angel wings-
your lovin' Angel wings.
Thank God for Angel Wings 




A MOTHER'S POEM

My hands were busy through the day,
I didn't have much time to play,

the little games you asked me to.
I didn't have much time for you.

I'd wash your clothes, I'd sew and cook,
But when you'd bring your picture book,

and ask me, please to share your fun,
I'd say, "A little later son."

I'd tuck you in all safe at night,
and hear your prayers, turn out the light,

then tiptoe softly to the door,
I wish I'd stayed a little more.

For life is short, and years rush past,
A little boy grows up so fast.

No longer is he at your side,
his precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away,
There are no children's games to play,

No goodnight kiss, no prayers to hear,
that all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands once busy now lie still,
the days are long and hard to fill,

I wish I might go back and do,
the little things you asked me to! 






Take Me Fishing

Cast a line or two for me
In a lake, or stream or salted sea
I like it out there on the boat
It's nice to dream or sit and float

Time to take me fishing
You always said you would
Even if it's in your mind
You know you wish you could

Share with me the dream you had
I would have liked to call you Dad
I never had the chance to show
But it's something I wanted you to know

Be sure to take me with you
The next time that you go
I'm in the boat








"Tomorrow morning,"
the surgeon began,
"I'll open up your heart..."

"You'll find God there," 
Abdo interrupted.

The surgeon looked up, annoyed.
"I'll cut your heart open," he continued,
"to see how much damage has been done..."

"But when you open up my heart,
you'll find God in there."
The surgeon looked to Abdo's wife, who sat quietly.
"When I see how much damage has been done,
I'll sew your heart and chest back up
and I'll plan what to do next."

"But you'll find God in my heart.
The Quran says He lives there.
The verses all say He lives there.
You'll find Him in my heart."

The surgeon had had enough.
"I'll tell you what I'll find in your heart.
I'll find damaged muscle, low blood supply, and weakened vessels.
And I'll find out if I can make you well."
"You'll find God there too. He lives there."
The surgeon left.

The surgeon sat in his office,
recording his notes from the surgery,
"...damaged aorta, damaged pulmonary vein,
widespread muscle degeneration.
No hope for transplant, no hope for cure.
Therapy: painkillers and bedrest. Prognosis:,"
here he paused, "death within one year."

He stopped the recorder, but there was more to be said.
"Why?" he asked aloud. "Why did You do this?
You've put him here; You've put him in this pain;
and You've cursed him to an early death. Why?"

The Lord answered and said,
"The Man, My lamb, was not meant for your flock for long,
for he is a part of My flock, and will forever be.
Here, in My flock, he will feel no pain,
and will be comforted as you cannot imagine.
His wife will one day join him here,
and they will know peace,
and My flock will continue to grow."

The surgeon's tears were hot, but his anger was hotter.
"You created that man, and You created that heart.
he'll be dead in months. Why?"

The Lord answered,
"The man, My lamb, shall return to My flock,
for he has done his duty:
I did not put My lamb with your flock to lose him,
but to retrieve another lost lamb."

The surgeon wept.

The surgeon sat beside the man's bed;
the man's wife sat across from him.

The man awoke and whispered,
"Did you cut open my heart?"

"Yes," said the surgeon.

"What did you find?" asked the man.

"I found God there,"
said the surgeon. 






An emptiness fills the room.
A sorrow fills my soul.
Tears ripple through my body,
Shuddering out of control.
I know that you feel no pain.
Happy in your new home.
But constantly we weep,
Feeling so alone.
We miss your smile,
I really miss your hugs .
I even miss the silliness,
But most of all your love.
I’m sure one day in heaven,
We will all meet again.
But in all honesty Abdo,
Until then I just can’t understand….. 





Dear god
I miss my husband
I carry his memory with me
Wherever I go

I pray that you will remind me
That he remains part of me
In everything I do, and
Everything I am

Continue to show me that he
Is still a part of my life and
That nothing can separate us

I ask that you keep the bonds
Between us strong in spirit
Until the day that we are
Reunited in heaven 








The Legend of the Thorn Birds


There is a legend about a bird which sings just once in it's life, more sweetly

than any other creature on the face of the earth. From the moment it leaves

the nest it searches for a thorn tree, and does not rest until it has found one.

Then singing among the savage branches, it impales itself on the longest,

sharpest spine, and, dying, it rises above it's own agony to out-carol the Lark

and the Nightingale. One superlative song, existence the price but the whole

world stills to listen, and God in his Heaven smiles, For the best is only bought

at the cost of great pain...or so says the legend. 





A Letter From Abdo

I'm writing you this letter
From my home in Heaven above.
To all my family I left behind 
I'm sending you my love.

For my sons Adam and Zach
Your Daddy misses you.
And to my sweet Yasmine I never met 
I love and miss you too.

I'm so proud to be your Dad 
You're as precious as can be.
And even though I'm in Heaven
You mean the world to me.

Watch for signs that I send
Signs that you can't miss.
Like a breeze on your cheeks
Will be my angel kiss.

A butterfly with wings of gold
Flying high above.
Will be sent by your Daddy
Just to bring you love.

And if you hear the wind at night
No need to wonder why.
For it will be your Daddy 
Singing you a lullaby.

My darling lil' children 
Please don't cry and be sad
Even though I'm far away
I'll always be your Dad 






 Grief,
like the ocean,
comes in waves
only to recede
and come yet again.

But with it comes healing.

Memories wash ashore
and are bathed
by the golden sun.

Grab hold of those memories
and let them
fill the emptiness.

"It has been said that time heals all wounds.
I do not agree.
The wounds remain.
In time the mind,
protecting its sanity,
covers them with scar
tissue and the pain lessens----
but it is never gone."

Things I Miss About You, My Husband


I miss the way you use to sing to me.  There were several songs you would sing.  One of them was  " Have I told you lately, that I love you ".
Another was "  You are my Sunshine "
And then there was this arabic song  "  Anna Bahabic, Habibi " which means in English...  I love you, my sweetheart "

I miss the little dance you use to do when ever you were happy...you would stick your behind out and shake it while twisting your arms in the opposite direction.  I use to laugh so hard when you did that because you looked so funny doing it.

I miss the way you would put your hand on my knee every morning on the drive to open our store.  And the way you would always rub my feet for me at night and crack my toes.  Actually,  I would get mad at you when you would crack my toes...but that didn't stop you from doing it.

I miss you making me Chicken & Rice Soup and Hot lemon when I'm sick and I have a cold.  You were so, so kind to me.
And I miss our Friday night family night with all of our kids just being together and eating and talking and having quality time together.  I have not had a friday family night since you passed away.

Most of all I just miss laying quietly beside you with your head on my chest and holding you.  I remember you use to tell me that when you die you wanted to die at home in your own bed with your head on my chest and my arms around you. 
Unfortunatly...you died in a hospital bed, something you clearly didn't want to happen.

I could go on forever saying what I miss about you Abdo...these are just a few things that I remembered.
God Bless you and keep you safe Abdo.


Loving and missing you always,

Dana  (nagat)  

There are many things that Abdo left as a legacy,  his passion for life,  his mischeivious and joking character,  his happy-go-lucky personality,  and his love and respect for his family.  But the most important legacy he left is his two sons and the little girl he never knew... his daughter.
As little Yasmine continues to grow,  she is developing so many characteristics of her dad.  Apart from looking like her dad,  she is very strong willed,  has an enourmous appetite and loves to have her own way !
Every milestone,  birthday,  first day of school will serve as a bittersweet experience knowing that Abdo will not be here to share it with her.  It is sometimes hard to look at her because it is painful to think that she will never know her wonderful daddy,  who would be so proud of her. I always said that this little girl was his last gift to me before he died...out of his death came a new life to carry on his legacy.
I know Abdo is watching down from heaven above..., watching over his little princess yasmine... and his two little boys,...his legacy to us !

Praying For You,

Daddy !
                           
                        

1 -  I remember the first time I ever saw Abdo,  it was Febuary 19th,  1993.  He was working at the Italian Pizzeria and I went there for dinner one night.  I remember he was at the grill making cheesesteaks and I was sitting in the booth watching him.  I thought he was very handsome and the way he worked with his spatula chopping the steak on the grill was entertaining.  We finally made eye contact and after that we  couldn't stop looking and flirting with each other.  When I was ready to leave,  I looked back at him and he was watching me and he gave me this huge,  fantastic smile and said " Bye " .  I remember this smile stayed etched in my mind for days afterward.  I knew I had to go back again,  and I did.  He remembered me right away and we talked and needless to say he asked for my phone number and well,  the rest is history. { smile ].



                                             

2-  Another memory I  have is when he would take me out to eat at a place called Perkin's.  Everytime we would go there I would spill my drink...Cherry Coke w/ a cherry in it.  Except for one time,  we went and I made it threw the entire meal without tipping over my drink.  I was so proud of myself that I threw up my hands and said,  "  See Abdo,  I didn't spill my drink this time and at the same time I said it I tipped over my glass by throwing out my hands.  I remember Abdo burst out in laughter that seemed to roll out of him.  After that night,  he started calling me  "  Grace " .  H e always had such a good sense of humor !


3-  One of the funniest things that I remember he did was a joke he played on my brother.  Secretly,  he bought my brother an older used car for him to use back and forth to work.  He decieded he was gonna make a joke out of it.  So,  he invited my brother and sister-in-law out to dinner at '  Perkin's,  no doubt ".  We drove seperate cars and met there,  with Abdo and  I arriving a few minutes earlier than them.  I parked my car and Abdo parked the used car.  We went inside to wait for them.  They arrived and we all ate dinner.  When it was time to leave,  we all went to the parking lot.  Abdo was standing beside the car that he bought for my brother and he looked into the window of the car and said to my brother,  hey look...somebody left their keys in the car.  He said to my brother, ya know... i bet this car will fly... I think I'll take it for a spin.  Abdo reached for the door handle and started to open the door.  My brother replied,  Abdo leave that car alone before someone comes out and shoots you.  Abdo said no,  I want to drive it and he opened the door.  My brother said shut the door Abdo before someone calls the police on you.  Abdo got into the car and said ,  "  I'm gonna start it up, with his hand on the ignition ".  By this time my brother and his wife were flippin out,  thinking Abdo had lost his mind.  My brother was getting angry because Abdo wasn't listening when  he told him , "  Get the hell out of the car,  are you going crazy ".   By now Abdo had already started the engine and was reving it up.  My brother said "  thats it,  I'm leaving and he and his wife took off for their car [ very angry,  i must add ].  I couldn't hold back, i had to let the cat out of the bag and tell them it was all just a joke.  That the car was really a gift to them from Abdo.  Abdo got out of the car laughing and saying "  I got you man,  I got you !! ".  It was one of those situations where you really needed to be there. 

Adam made two King Tut pictures in school.  He said this one is for Daddy and the other one he will send to Tayta Mimi ( His grandmother in Egypt )